Lord Hotdog

Get the Goods

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$45.99
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*Price is for 3 packs of hotdogs

THE WAR

CASE FILE: JULIET TANGO ARTT15-82
CASE STATUS: OPEN

1100 HRS // 24 FEBRUARY 2016 // SALT LAKE CITY, UT -

A carefully planned hit on an ex S.M.P. Operative and Co-Creator of the world's best tasting hotdog, Jarred "Lord Hotdog" Taylor, was thwarted due to an information leak within Scythe Industries. Taken completely by surprise that Scythe Industries would betray him, Lord Hotdog went into hiding, bringing his signature gourmet hotdog on a much more underground approach. Kayne Scythe, C.E.O. of Scythe Industries (the legal front for the world's largest organized crime syndicate), was informed by his staff Lord Hotdog was successfully eliminated. With Lord Hotdog out of the way, Kayne pushed all his efforts into scaling his empire with a new blended-meat-based dog. Utilizing scraps of both chicken and beef increased the overall output while drastically decreasing cost. Kayne quickly tripled his empire's net worth and had numerous government officials and politicians bribed and under his control

1400 HRS  // 04 OCTOBER 2021 // SAN ANTONIO, TX-

Jarred "Lord Hotdog" Taylor has resurfaced publicly, airing that not only is he alive and well but has released his signature gourmet hotdogs to be available for everyone nationwide. Seeing Lord Hotdog alive has sent Kayne into a spiral of rage, contacting the Chicago Police Commissioner, and issuing out a syndicate-wide order to eliminate Lord Hotdog at all costs. Predicting this would be Kayne's move, Lord Hotdog has taken his glitzy slinging business on the road, shipping these amazingly tasting dogs straight to your door to avoid allowing Kayne and his goons the ability to intercept and interrupt supply lines.

Kayne Scythe

The Hotdog Players

LORD HOTDOG

In the spring of 2003, a young Washington boy by the name of Jarred Taylor joined the United States Military. After two years of military schools, advanced training and preparation, he acquired the skills and knowledge of equipment necessary to become a certified Joint Terminal Attack Controller. Immediately, he deployed to combat in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom. He decided he would not be returning home after finishing the first tour, as his fighting was far from over. He processed out of the service and hopped on a cargo plane from Al Died Qatar to Cannes, France, to follow a lead about a paramilitary organization doing fascinating operations in the food and agriculture industry. It was there he met Commandant Charles Ritter the III. After a rigorous 8-day, interview and selection process Commandant Ritter offered J.T. a position in the covert side of the French Foreign Legion's S.M.P. (Secret Meat Police).

For ten years, J.T. reported simultaneously to the Prime Minister of France and the Secretary of State for the United States. Over 65 major operations were successfully completed that were directly responsible for keeping the meat trade stable worldwide; because of this career path, J.T. received an intense education on the quality of good beef and how there was a real possibility to construct the world's most perfect all beef, all-natural hotdog.

In the fall of 2015, during a secret operation in the Falkland Islands
regarding the illegal export of British-owned lamb meat, J.T. was introduced to a young Scientist turned mercenary, Dr. Groz Champlain. Dr. Champlain had secretly embedded himself into a faction of Ukrainian poultry exporters that had turned their sights on the lavishly expensive British lamb meat. It didn't take long for J.T. to realize something was off about the young Dr. And cornered him in a pub one evening in Hill Cove. The doctor came clean and admitted he was part of an undercover operation run by the Peace Corps, attempting to throw a wrench in the illegal animal agriculture black market. After way too many drinks and laughs, the two realized they were working towards the same goal and decided to join forces.

The operation ended before the new year and by January of 2016, Dr. Champlain took a job in New York as the lead beef scientist for a legendary Veteran Owned Hotdog company. He was learning everything to know about hotdogs from the very decedents of the original inventor of the hotdog. Dr. Champlain began pushing his talents and research even further. At the same time, J.T. left the undercover work of the S.M.P. and moved over to a consulting role in the WBTA (World's Beef Trade Association). Finally hanging his gun up, J.T. and Dr. Champlain focused their efforts to source and create an actual gourmet dog.

Commandant Ritter, now having left the legion, was now France's Q.B.A. (Quality Beef Ambassador) and used his network to connect J.T. and American Food and Agriculture Billionaire, Kayne Scythe. Kayne and J.T. quickly became very close. Kayne dubbed J.T. "Lord Hotdog" during a dinner banquet after J.T. announced his quest for hotdog greatness. This was a perfect connection for J.T. and Dr. Champlain with the Scythe Industries' vast production and distribution networks and the Lord Hotdog secret recipe. This was a deal set to change the meat industry in its entirety. Eager to launch this deal, Kayne purchased the Boston Red Socks to have an official face and spokesmen for the Lord Hotdog brand.

But something went haywire. During a typical meeting and transaction between J.T., Dr. Champlain and the Scythe SMTT (Secure Meat Transport Team), J.T. noticed they were walking into a trap. Coming prepared, they were both able to neutralize all members of the SMTT and escape unharmed and with the prototypes of the new dogs. The two spent five years finding a new way to launch this product. That time has now come.

About Lorde Hotdog

The Goods

LORD HOTDOG PREMIUM SIGNATURE DOG - 3 Pack

The Lord Hotdog Secret recipe utilizes 100% beef, smoked in a juicy natural hotdog with an explosion of the old-world spices and flavors in every single bite. Eliminating all artificial nitrates and ingredients from the process, J.T. and Dr. Champlain were left with a dog that was out of this world. Something that directly mirrored the original vision in a perfect taste of a Veteran Owned meat company had so many years ago.

translation missing: en.products.general.regular_price
$45.99
translation missing: en.products.general.unit_price  translation missing: en.general.accessibility.unit_price_separator 

*Price is for 3 packs of hotdogs

Lord Hotdog Goods

Unsolved Hotdog Case